Timing: Ask for what you want
Ask for a two-hour IEP team meeting. You will have to take off work, arrange child care, and find parking at a busy school, so you should make it worth your while. We see a lot of districts schedule one-hour meetings; however, parents often find that this is barely enough time for the district to read the IEP and hand it over to the parent to sign. If you want time to ask questions and participate (and you do!), then request two hours. You can always end the meeting early.
Soon after the IEP team meeting begins, find out if anyone has time constraints. Even when we ask for two hours, some districts say, “Yes” and then have other commitments. This is frustrating, but it’s better to know about at the start of the meeting. Knowing the district’s time constraints allows you to prioritize your key points. If the meeting ends before the team has discussed the entire IEP document, request another meeting and gently remind the team that you asked for two hours.
Ask for the next team meeting to be held within a week (or as soon as your schedule allows). Legally, the district must schedule the meeting within 30 days of your request. Often, districts and parents find that it can be challenging to pick up exactly where they left off 30 days after the initial meeting. It may not be possible to have another meeting so soon, but if you do not ask, you will not get. We’ve had one mom ask that a second IEP meeting be held three days after the first one . . . and she got it! Leigh worked with a family that had an IEP meeting every Wednesday until they finished the IEP. Not all districts are this accommodating, but it doesn’t hurt to ask.
Record, record, record!
ALWAYS record IEP team meetings. This can feel confrontational to some parents, but we assure you that it is not. While you may like the other team members, they are not your personal friends; They are people who are helping write an important contract that will determine your child’s goals, services, and placement for the next year. Their goals may or may not align with your goals. Ten years from now, they will not be in your child’s life. You will.
As parents, we understand. As advocates, we can help.