There are many great, passionate educators out there. Some will become friends, mentors, or guiding lights in your journey as the parent of a kid with special needs or learning differences.
Then there are the rest. The ones who make you wonder why they are working with children at all. Were they always like this? We find that this second group may throw things at parents simply to confuse the situation.
When these things happen in IEP meetings, they make us shake our heads. Here are a few of them, along with some suggestions on what to do if they happen to you.
Situation #1: The district does not send you a Notice of Meeting.
Request one in writing until you receive it. Read the names on it and familiarize yourself with who will be at the meeting.
Situation #2: The district sends you a Notice of Meeting with no names on it, only the titles of the people who will be attending.
In writing, request that the district inform you of the first and last names of the people that will be at your child’s IEP. Why? You want to know that the people directly involved in your child’s education will be at the table. Meeting with a group of people who do not know your child is not an effective use of your time.
Situation #3: The district has their attorney attend an IEP meeting and does not notify you before the meeting.
Your options are:
- Take several deep breaths. Feeling shocked and upset is normal. Take five minutes to walk outside if need be. DO NOT just terminate the meeting, no matter how tempting it is. The meeting can continue in your absence, and (if the situation ends up going legal) some courts have held that parents walking out means that the parents waived their right to participate. The district is allowed to (more or less) invite anyone they wish—they have to believe that the person has special knowledge that would allow them to attend, but how this is defined is vague. The attorney will not know your child and does not have expertise in this area.
- Make sure that it says in the meeting notes that the district invited an attorney and did not inform you of this. By putting this in the meeting notes, you are establishing that the district has not followed the law. Should this go legal, this will become part of your evidence.
- You can ask that the attorney leave. The attorney’s departure at this point is unlikely.
- You can ask to adjourn the meeting until you can hire a lawyer, or you can make use of this opportunity by asking the attorney questions that relate to why they are there. We recommend the second course of action, as it will give you valuable information that you will need and can use moving forward. Clearly the party bringing the attorney has an issue; Find out what it is.
Hire an advocate. Learn your rights.
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As parents, we understand. As advocates, we can help.